Monday, December 17, 2012

I'm a mom, annnnnnddd....A 2012 reflection.

I can't believe it's been so long since I blogged. I was really into using this as my transition from my Mid Week Vents & posts on Cafemom, but somehow life got in the way. What have I been doing? Well, that's easy. I've been a mom. But more importantly, I've been me. My husband lost his job last year, which not only cut into our finances, but I actually had to look busy at all times. That part wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, but a pain in the crack, nonetheless. When he lost his job, he decided to follow his dream and become a certified personal trainer. His first client was a free one and a very round and fresh lump of clay to mold....Me. When we started, I was 208lbs, hypertensive, prediabetic, a smoker, a chicken nugget thief & had a chocolate stash that would make Willy Wonka get a hard on. Now, almost 2 years later, I am 60 lbs lighter, clean eating, water drinking shell of my former self. So it became a business that my husband and I would work together to build. I found my love, the weight room. I know most girls shy away from the weights, but there is something about slapping on pink gloves & lifting more than most men can that tickles my fancy. It's a self esteem builder, a great way to burn fat and it makes your booty look video vixen like! I never thought I'd ever love to workout, I hate doing dishes, but the gym gives me peace & makes me feel less guilty about my chocolate stash! Along with the 5 kids, and our extended families....I forgot I even had a blog.

Speaking of the kids, this year was a year of change with them as well. My older 2 boys graduated middle school, entered high school and joined sports teams for the first time. I am one of those mothers I wanted to throw stuff at in my kids' younger years...The high school sports mom. I'm loud, I'm crazy and I am soooooo proud of my sons. I make their protein shakes & post workout meals, workout with them...I'm annoying and I love it!I have 3 more year of them at home with me before I hear the dreaded words, "Mom I'm legal now". So, I'm reveling in any attention they give me. My younger 2 boys graduated as well & headed to the awkward hell known as middle school! My theory is that 6th grade is the crossroads of tween hell. The last time I almost lost it on my older boys was in 6th grade. The last time they had a physical spat where my husband and I had to pull them apart was 6th grade. Now, our lovely cycle of tween hell has been reborn with the younger 2 boys! So far, I'm winning. I will say that as much as they drive me bonkers, all 4 boys are absolutely nothing to whine & moan about. Like all kids, you just have to make them feel special, give them their space but not too much! Then there's this little girl of mines...Who is so beautiful, I fear for her because i know mean girls are everywhere. She's smart, sweet and innocent. All of the things a 10 yr old should be. It's her last year before middle school, so I'm doing my best to cement our bond. The next few years she will hate me, love me, misunderstand me, then love me again. I'm preparing us both for it all. My daughter gives me closure to the confusion that is my own mother/daughter relationship. When it hurts as to why I can't have one, my daughter, almost instinctively, will ask me to help her paint her toes or pick an outfit out, or watch Victorious...And all is right in my life again. As if my life didn't have enough kids and love, 2012 brought me my 2nd niece, 1st biological....I love them both so much, I'm in awe of it. Loving someone who is not actually yours but loving them as if they were is a strange concept to me...But it feels and flows so natural. Those 2 little girls are truly amazing and make my world right as well. So overall, 2012 wasn't bad. A lot better than my past years, and next year seems promising with my husband back at work, his business beginning to take hold, our kids are starting new phases in life, we are now not the only ones to have babies anymore, and I'm back to making some sense out of a bunch of ramblings from a mom like me. I'll be back with more functional dysfunction soon!

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